There are the date who treat you as his own personal property rather than as someone to get to know on a first date. You are expected to mimic your "owner". You're not allowed to think, act, say or do anything that does not reflect him and his views. Even the first date shows signs of this. A friend walks up to say hi and before you can respond he suddenly has you in a "She's mine...back off" shoulder grip so tight that you are wincing! He grabs your hand or waist as well as if you are long lost lovers and kisses you! The inquisition starts the moment your friend walks away. How do you know him? Did you ever go out with him? What did he mean by that remark? What's so funny? Why are you smiling? Did you sleep with him? Doesn't he have a girlfriend? Why does he keep looking over here? Who are you looking for?
You have a date that thinks you are out of his league so won't let you out of his sight. He literally tells you over and over again that he cannot believe that you went out with him. By the end of the date he has you wondering the same thing! He waits outside the bathroom just in case you have the urge to ditch him. It is his clinging that drives you away. Maybe you should bring some Static Guard to help prevent the latching on for dear life. One date is enough.
Perhaps it would be easier for him to just take an inkpad and stamp "OWNED" or "PROPERTY OF......" on your forehead. How about handcuffs so that you cannot walk too far away without him knowing your whereabouts or business? No wonder they rarely made it through the first date let alone a second one.
Saturday, 4 April 2009
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Fix me up
Nothing is worse than having to find a date for a major family or friend event. The wedding that if a date isn't brought that has everyone pushing their offspring towards you. Then there is the married friends who want all of their friends to be as happy or miserable as they are and are constantly inviting you to dinner parties with their other single friends in hope that the two of you hook up and join all the other adults and leave the single life of endless dating behind you. "Act" like an adult and get married and have a family.
The friend who has her husband scour the office for the perfect guy for you only to find out that the so called perfect guy is one foot shorter and you are not even wearing heels! She speaks Prada and you speak Wal Mart - definitely not a good match there. She is Ms. Manners and you are just comfortable sitting back and scratching your balls in a room full of people. She likes cats and has several: you like dogs and have several...gives a whole new meaning to fighting like cats and dogs!
The friend who has her husband scour the office for the perfect guy for you only to find out that the so called perfect guy is one foot shorter and you are not even wearing heels! She speaks Prada and you speak Wal Mart - definitely not a good match there. She is Ms. Manners and you are just comfortable sitting back and scratching your balls in a room full of people. She likes cats and has several: you like dogs and have several...gives a whole new meaning to fighting like cats and dogs!
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
Got a Minute?
Pleae click on the link below if you have a couple of minutes to take the following survey...
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=07uIjbIKcJdAkUr1Nel3mw_3d_3d.21
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=07uIjbIKcJdAkUr1Nel3mw_3d_3d.21
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Politics and Religion
There are more reasons for a doomed date than I can count. Personality plays such an enormous role in that process of deciding what is and isn't one. One of my biggest pet peeves on a date is someone of a different political party or religion that feels that he has to convert you to the "right" way of thinking.
He is the one that is a staunch member of his political affiliation as has all members of his family since the beginning of time. At least that is what he would have you believe. He also believes all his friends, family and dates should also be likeminded. The mere thought of someone being of the opposing parties sends shivers down his spine.
Relentless, continually prodding and poking, hoping to find the chink in his date's armor. The Achilles heel so to speak of why in God's name would anyone even consider the possibility of any party other than his!
Then there is the date that wants to convert her date to her religion. Her God is the one and true God. There is no possibility of another God, prophet or savior. All the members of other religions will burn in Hell. There will be a very long line if that is the case. The only question will be which religion will be the one in line?
He is the one that is a staunch member of his political affiliation as has all members of his family since the beginning of time. At least that is what he would have you believe. He also believes all his friends, family and dates should also be likeminded. The mere thought of someone being of the opposing parties sends shivers down his spine.
Relentless, continually prodding and poking, hoping to find the chink in his date's armor. The Achilles heel so to speak of why in God's name would anyone even consider the possibility of any party other than his!
Then there is the date that wants to convert her date to her religion. Her God is the one and true God. There is no possibility of another God, prophet or savior. All the members of other religions will burn in Hell. There will be a very long line if that is the case. The only question will be which religion will be the one in line?
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Attitude plays a major role as well in a doomed date. Perhaps this sounds familiar and though may seem easy to deal it is not. It is actually quite a blow to the ego.
Let me introduce you to Mr. Hands. You know what I am talking about...a date that treats you like a piece of meat...eyes bulging at cleavage and tongue hanging from mouth salivating, hands everywhere (politely push one away only to have to do it with the other hand...a neverending process) and not interested in any conversation unless it is about sex. Would not be able to tell you the color of your eyes if you asked him. This might flatter someone from time to time but it does become quite tiresome and objectifies you.
Let's be fair... it could be Ms. Hands as well. Constantly assessing your back side, pecs or the size of the family jewels. Though it's nice to know that you are seen that way it also has you wondering if your date thinks you are brainless.
It could also be the opposite...the type that is so bored and doesn't want to be there. He is looking at the watch as if a bomb is going to explode and wants to make a quick exit before it happens. He is also constantly scanning the room to see who is there, who is coming by the table, etc. Just looking at anything else other than at you, his date sitting across the table.
Let me introduce you to Mr. Hands. You know what I am talking about...a date that treats you like a piece of meat...eyes bulging at cleavage and tongue hanging from mouth salivating, hands everywhere (politely push one away only to have to do it with the other hand...a neverending process) and not interested in any conversation unless it is about sex. Would not be able to tell you the color of your eyes if you asked him. This might flatter someone from time to time but it does become quite tiresome and objectifies you.
Let's be fair... it could be Ms. Hands as well. Constantly assessing your back side, pecs or the size of the family jewels. Though it's nice to know that you are seen that way it also has you wondering if your date thinks you are brainless.
It could also be the opposite...the type that is so bored and doesn't want to be there. He is looking at the watch as if a bomb is going to explode and wants to make a quick exit before it happens. He is also constantly scanning the room to see who is there, who is coming by the table, etc. Just looking at anything else other than at you, his date sitting across the table.
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Personality
Personality can play a large role in a doomed date. You have your own personality quirks. The question is will the other person's mesh or become a complete turn off? The kind that just has you wondering how much longer before I can bolt?
How about that irritating date who always corrects what you just said? He not only corrects grammar but also facts. Your date is ALWAYS right. Even if everyone else at the table disagrees. Your date changes the subject with a sniff or a snort and a shake of the head and a waving of the hand dismissing everyone.
There are other quirky personalities. The incessant talker that never lets anyone get a word in edgewise and ignores anyone who manages to do so. The shy wallflower that jumps and cringes at the least little word or noise. The me oriented date. Everything somehow evolves around him. No matter what the topic this date will bring the subject back to himself. There is the gusher...one who just oozes excitement with every breath. On the other end we have the monotone...the one who can put a room full of rowdy teenagers to sleep. The athlete who wants to talk nothing but sports and quote you every statistic possible... so what if the other person does not care how your team is performing. The Obnoxious sex fiend who turns everything into a sexual innuendo including the food.
How about that irritating date who always corrects what you just said? He not only corrects grammar but also facts. Your date is ALWAYS right. Even if everyone else at the table disagrees. Your date changes the subject with a sniff or a snort and a shake of the head and a waving of the hand dismissing everyone.
There are other quirky personalities. The incessant talker that never lets anyone get a word in edgewise and ignores anyone who manages to do so. The shy wallflower that jumps and cringes at the least little word or noise. The me oriented date. Everything somehow evolves around him. No matter what the topic this date will bring the subject back to himself. There is the gusher...one who just oozes excitement with every breath. On the other end we have the monotone...the one who can put a room full of rowdy teenagers to sleep. The athlete who wants to talk nothing but sports and quote you every statistic possible... so what if the other person does not care how your team is performing. The Obnoxious sex fiend who turns everything into a sexual innuendo including the food.
Sunday, 1 February 2009
You have your tolerance levels of what you are willing to forgo for that chance meeting for a lasting relationship. The one that makes it worth all of these bad dates - even a diamond in the rough. You have your limits just as much as the next person.
While some of you could care less about what your date is wearing or for that matter what you are wearing as well. Have you ever been on a date with someone who dresses like Jon in the Garfield comic strip or like a hooker that should be standing on the street corner? How about someone who likes to sit with his back to the whole restaurant in an open back chair revealing quite a lot more than you or anybody else would want to see? How about the person whose definition of wear something nice shows up on your doorstep with tattered jeans and a shirt full of holes and yours is a dress with heels or a suit and tie?
While some of you could care less about what your date is wearing or for that matter what you are wearing as well. Have you ever been on a date with someone who dresses like Jon in the Garfield comic strip or like a hooker that should be standing on the street corner? How about someone who likes to sit with his back to the whole restaurant in an open back chair revealing quite a lot more than you or anybody else would want to see? How about the person whose definition of wear something nice shows up on your doorstep with tattered jeans and a shirt full of holes and yours is a dress with heels or a suit and tie?
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